“The Bear You Do Not Climb On”

“The Bear You Do Not Climb On” (July 2009)

On vacation with friends to Mackinac hotel near Canada, we took the ferry to nearby Mackinaw, the trashy version of Mackinac, where they haveidiot signs like this on the local oddities. If I ever make a climbing-bear, and then put a SIGN on it saying “Please do not climb on the bear”, then just shoot me. One of my competitors had a sigh in front of their booth at Oshkosh saying “Please do not fly the simulator. It is not a game.” Good gawd. LOSER!

On vacation in Williamsburg, they put me in the stocks! THIS to any authority that would presume to put me in the stocks!

OK I have never been on a cothes shopping-spree in my entire life. So, going down to a hip fashion-joint in Charleston with a friend, and the alcohol flowing VERY freely with models prancing around and lasers and smoke machines and thumping techno and stuff, I finaly went on my first ever shopping-spree.

Here is me BEFORE the shopping spree (dorky and a bit drunk and badly-dressed)

And now, AFTER the shopping spree (about 4 hours, 12 drinks, and a few thousand dollars later!), dorky, a bit more drunk, and better-dressed!

(My complete wardrobe is packed up off-screen… and no, not my girlfriend in either shot!)